10 Things That Stop Me From Being My Sexy, Powerful Self

On being ‘Wanted’ Versus ‘Wantable,’ and ‘Loved’ Versus ‘Lovable’

So, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about sense of self/empowerment/sexiness (see previous swaths of posts). I’m obsessing on this because it’s all tied in with our confidence and creativity, ambition, vulnerability, and relationships, too. A lot of people my age (30s-50s) don’t invest much in their own feelings of power/sensuality for a few reasons:

1. When the fuck do I spend an ounce of time on myself?
2. Life is gross, stressful, boring AND chaotic- the opposite of sexy
3. I often feel pretty low and can’t add ONE more thing to worry about
4. Yes, my partner wants me but it’s in an unconditional sort of way so I’ve stopped looking at myself as desirable or bothering to try, plus we share the very unsexy #2, and, you know, some shit has gone down between us along the way, so there’s always THAT, too
5. My partner doesn’t want me and it sucks and I wonder if it’s because of me or them or us and I just don’t know where to put any of my feelings. Where does this leave me?
6. I don’t have a partner, and I know I should be fierce and independent, but sexin’ myself up seems kind of pointless, plus, you know…