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I Am Descended from The Lizard King, Janice!
“Name’s Ed. Ed Carbuncle. I came to therapy today because my wife, Janice, told me I had to ‘do something radical’ or she’d leave me. I’m not usually one to share, but here we are. So, yeah. About me, about me….I was born in Gary, Indiana in 2013. I’m almost 7 years young. Janice says I have acted ‘like an old bird’ for most of my long life. She doesn’t mean that as a compliment. Janice just loves to hen-peck me. It’s her favorite pasttime. Her hobbies include adding nonsence to our nest that we don’t need, and bitching about everything I do.
Her favorite critisism of me is that I’m meek. Yeah. Rich, isn’t it? Like she wants me to always be putting up my snood to fight the other toms. I’m sorry if I don’t want to be a total dick just to demonstrate my male prowess, or whatever, Janice. You know your friends with macho husbands would love a tender, loving guy like me who just likes to roost and read a nice book. Ask them. I bet it’s true.
Interestingly, the other day when I was reading one of my favorite scientific journals, I came across a fascinating article about how turkeys are the birds most closely evolved from dinosaurs. Yes, the same dinosaurs who fiercely dominated the boiling earth millions of years ago. I can see it. I’ve always felt like I have an ancient, quiet strength in me. Now I know the source of it. And what a beautiful…
