It Just Takes One Person & Lessons From My Therapist

A few weeks ago I did a virtual visit with a new PCP so that I could get a refill on my Zoloft. I’ve been taking the same dose for years and they need to check in now and then. Since we moved a year ago, I had randomly selected a primary doctor, met her once, and then she left the practice, so this was a new person. I was feeling let down at that moment- by the world, by myself, and had little faith that a new stranger would be able to offer me any help or relief. I fully expected to be dismissed so she could move on with her busy day. I get it, healthcare workers are strapped and my needs aren’t dire…but when I mentioned that I’d been feeling kind of terrible lately, this family doctor gave me comprehensive depression and anxiety surveys and then commiserated about how hard it is to find a local psychologist. She really listened and made me feel heard. She also recommended I increase my dose of Zoloft.

Later that week, I had my first appointment with a BetterHelp therapist. I also had low expectations here. It didn’t feel like “real” therapy. It’s only 30 minute sessions once/week, with texting contact in between. She’s busy and will be seeing people with fewer resources and more pain than me. I felt guilty even bothering her, and also doubtful that she’d be able to help me. But I wanted help. It was worth pushing through all my concerns to try. Plus…